There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele
everyone you’ve ever loved has said some problematic shit: a novel
you have also said some problematic shit: the sequel
having said problematic shit does not necessarily make you or anyone else a bad person, just be aware of it, don’t say it again, and don’t make fucking excuses for people who continue to say problematic shit: the thrilling conclusion